ALCOHOLIC CHARITY

La Viva playing … their music is as blurred as this picture
Having a terrible sore throat and a slightly foul mood last night (no, it’s not PMS. I am so sorry – Pilot Boy and Takeshi for snapping bitchily at you guys); I think I needed some time off to clear my head (Read: Obscene amount of alcohol).

I was at RP, Subang last night. For those who don’t know what RP is, it stands for “Rumah Peranakan” – a quaint two storey colonial styled bungalow house, tucked away quietly in Hyatt Saujana Subang.

It was a blessing in disguise to get pissed drunk all for the right reasons – helping the underprivileged children. Every RM1 spent would be given away to charity.

As the 3 of us (Ms Lactose, Chris – the Salsa Queen and I) approached the club, there was a wide screen featuring football match (what else?) at the front yard, packed to the brim. We went inside to enjoy the live band instead.

We found a good spot – right in front of the dance floor and planted ourselves there; with Ms Lactose and Chris, the Salsa Queen waiting for the right song to sashay gracefully into the dance floor. How disappointed we were. The live bands sucked big time.
As we entered – I saw lotsa elderly people glued to their chairs, having drinks and trying to look enthusiastic. I asked Ms Lactose – is this place always packed with elderly and out of shape people? Ms Lactose laughed at my description and told me – Yeah! Looks like a place for social misfits, but we are here for charity, remember! She added the place was cool when Headwind was playing; till their contract was up and the lead singer went into labor. Oh okay….
Here, you would find middle aged people snogging each other, one old bugger had a sun tattoo on his balding head – which I mistook as a very large freckle, some sleazy Japanese buggers trying to get lucky, and young people (like me) trying hard to fit in.

When we reached, La Viva (a band) was playing. They were quite alright – but I have heard better bands. Then it was One Night Stand – a band consists of social misfits – a karaoke queen trying for Malaysian Idol, an old bugger who didn’t realize his time is up and an anorexic looking guitarist.

The old bugger just couldn’t stop blabbering and nagging when he was given the microphone. At first, thanking the crowd for their support for a good cause, then thanking the hard working bar tenders (Oooo – one of the bar tenders was so cute!! – probably that was the only consolation of being there – apart from helping underprivileged children by getting pissed drunk) and he went on and on and on…. like a drunkard – drinking and stepping on his lighted cigarette butt on stage. Somebody ought to tell him to give up the microphone (and give up singing forever). He totally butchered my favorite song – Fortunate Son.

True to its band name: One Night Stand – it is totally uneventful and people tend to forget it quickly.

After spending an agonizing two hours; waiting to score a one night stand, but ended up standing one night, ear drums suffering from the very tasteless music and being in a company of sleazy people – one of the sleazy Japanese buggers actually bought Ms Lactose a glass of wine, (he would have gotten her number, if he bought Chris and me as well) slightly tipsy (we actually missed a few turnings and had to go one big round again)– we scurried to our next pit stop – All-Star Café at Mid Valley.

Ms Lactose was invited by the restaurant manager, a nice clean cut looking bloke for some vodka. We gave instant approval after he brought us some vodka lime on the house (Hah!! We are pretty easy to please) As bored as we were, we had to sit till the football match was over before going for supper. Not for the Salsa Queen though, since she placed some bets earlier on. She was cheering like everyone else for England and ended up utterly disappointed. Christian Ronaldo is so damn HOT!!
We went to SS2, Sri Murni mamak for some kick ass nasi lemak and maggi mee goreng. Mr All-Star Café came to join us for some teh tarik before we called it a night.

Reaching home at 4.00 am, I heard a loud “GOAL!!!” from the nearby mamak stall near my house, as I was closing my gate. Damn! I missed it. I continued where I left – and was surprised to find the French were far more powerful compared to the Brazilians. It was a disappointment that there won’t be a repeat of the expected show down of Germany vs Brazil – the way it was 4 years ago. I wonder where was I; 4 years ago?

MUMBO DUMBO

I was at Zouk last night for the Mumbo Jumbo Night, or I would prefer to call it, Mumbo Dumbo night, to celebrate Ms Lactose’s birthday.

We were lucky that we knew some contacts in Zouk that we got to go in for free. Or else, who would be crazy enough to fork out RM40 just for one glass of lousy, diluted beer? (Hehe! The Pilot Boy did!). As much as I love the 60s, 70s and 80s songs, I came to realize that these songs were not “danceable”. Try dancing to “Sweet dreams” and you know what I mean. I wonder why they didn’t play “Twist and Shout”? The songs were nice though – flashback, we were transported back to our high school proms (as if we ever have one in Malaysia).

The dancing kings and queens in my group were a bit disappointed with the choice of songs. Nevertheless, being a good sport, they dance to it anyway; and in any way – latin, salsa, ballroom, etc.

Before Zouk, we had dinner at Chandelier. It looked kinda expensive from the outside. They have jockeys to help us park cars for a mere RM5. Despite the quite cozy ambience and warm decoration, the food was an utter let down – I wanted my steak to be well done and there were still some reddish flesh in it – I don’t eat my food raw – other than Japanese food, vegetables and fruits (which I don’t really fancy anyway). The fish and chips – the fish looked like pisang goreng but didn’t taste quite as good, the cod fish was a bit too hard – probably it is not even cod fish at all. The price is not that expensive – just that, we don’t even think we ought to pay so much for such lousy food. All of us vowed never to go there again till probably, when they get a new cook.

The Mix.FM crew

Ah well.. back to Zouk. Knowing that it would be a Mix.FM party, there would be some goodie bags to be given away. We practically shoved ourselves in front to try to get the goodies. Richard is my favorite Mix.FM DJ, despite being irritating at first when I heard him over the radio during college days. Richard in person looks great! I even commented that he looked fitter in person. Being the good natured and humorous Richard, he told me – “Today whole day stomachache leh. I went to toilet dunno how many times liao!” Hahahha! Don’t you just love this big guy? He is very huggable too! Just like Brutus! Big and cuddly! The girls and guys took turns to take pictures with him. This guy takes great pics in his blog.

Sekinchan Boy & Richard

Mumbo Dumbo night eventually paced up right after the goodies giveaway. Geez.. Malaysians? They always start doing things right after an incentive? There were dancers to spice up the night. Amongst us, there was a group of dancers too. And as usual, Ms Lactose, Chris – the lovely Salsa Queen, Mei, Teh, WY, and some other friends, followed the dancers to the beat of Billy Ray Cyrus’ song – Achy Breaky Heart.

Pilot Boy ended up being picked up by a pretty chick, Ms Lactose started dancing out of beat – haha! Too much alcohol is very bad for you… some guys pretending to be drunk, started going around and hugging the girls, WY had to go camping the next morning… me, having to work the day after, had to go home during the peak of the party to get some winks of sleep before another stressful day. Very potong stim having to work on alternate Saturdays. @#$%^&*!

COME DANCE WITH ME

Salsa dancers strutting their stuffs on the dance floor
I was invited for Simmone’s birthday bash at the Salsa Havana, Federal Hotel last night. I am not a dancer, so obviously, my only probable role there was to snap pictures or merely as an awed spectator. And, awed I was.

The people here are friendly. They said hi to you even if you don’t know any of them. A much friendlier club but, just as pretentious as other clubs – where people wear sunglasses in the dark rooms, or teeny party hoppers, or people trying to look cool to fit in. Everyone here shared the same passion though: Salsa.

When Kat and I reached the club, a special performance from students; graduated from Patricia’s class was almost over. Nevertheless, we did get to catch the final glimpse of the last performance, albeit needing to tip toed over towering crowd.

Compared to the Latino Club that I visited in Singapore last year, here, there were more spectators compared to dancers. Kuala Lumpur has a long way to catch up. The crowd is a mixture of the young and old. Not surprisingly, the salsa dance had caught up with the younger crowds. Most of Patricia’s students were very young and gorgeous too!

Looking over at the bar, Kat and I felt that this is also one of the pick up joints in Kuala Lumpur. I bet your luck gets better here – as long as you know how to salsa. You don’t have to use lame pick up lines (You look familiar? I have seen you before? Can I buy you a drink? You came alone?). You could just do the pick up by dancing with anybody you fancy as it is not nice to turn down an invitation.

Body contact is a must; and I wonder do guys get an erection by rubbing their groins onto the body of the women dancers? It is an erotic and sensual dance.

I just couldn’t figure out how those dancers could do the cross-body-lead-turn without getting knotted; and how those skirts flow! Everything seemed being choreographed effortlessly. Some seasoned dancers moved about with much fluidity and grace; while some obviously quite new, just stick to the basic movements. Nonetheless, they looked gorgeous.

Celebrating birthday here could be very memorable. The birthday girl would be dancing for about 5 minutes with numerous partners – I guess it depends on your popularity. As for my friend here, Simmone, there were endless people in the line queuing up to dance with her. She looked gorgeous and stunning.

I guess salsa is a good form of exercise as you could see everyone sweating profusely on the dance floor. I noticed most people seemed to be very health conscious. Most tables were filled with only mineral water – or were it because a bottle of beer costs about RM21? It is getting too exorbitant to go clubbing these days. Guess we can only go to Salsa Havana on Ladies Night (Thursdays).

Little Salsa Dancer in the Making

FLOWERS, CHOCOLATES & LAMBORGHINIS

What a girl wants? What a girl needs?
Whatever that makes her happy.

I was surprised at work yesterday afternoon with a bouquet of vermillion gerberas, given by fellow fei chai gang members. I shouldn’t have started the flowers giving tradition – we started with Ms Lactose’s birthday last year. I know how expensive it is to get me flowers on my birthday (Yes! Valentine’s Day). Sekinchan Boy teased me, asking me, if this is the first and only time that I got flowers? Hell, no! Ha ha! Apart from graduation, this is probably the 4th time I received bouquets on my birthday. I heard the roses prices had increased by 275% this year?

A dinner meeting was initially scheduled tonight to meet up with fellow fei chai gang, to distribute souvenirs that WY and I bought for them – t shirts for the guys and beaded purses for the girls. I was also contemplating on not going home early to avoid the massive jam on Jalan Kuching due to Thaipusam. A dinner with friends would be nice.

I didn’t think that they would actually throw me a party. Well… kinda.

WY and Pornstar Tiffany bought me a chocolate cake from Secret Recipe.

Mr Bee Stung Lips bought me a Flaming Lamborghini at the Loft.

To add to all the fun, Mr Bee Stung Lips knew the very beautiful Agnes – a friend of my sister’s since secondary school. She was sitting next to BSL when we arrived. She stared at me with her big beautiful eyes. I looked at her with my poor night vision; my mind boggling back and forth, scanning a rather familiar face. We screamed and hugged. We knew each other since 14 years old. Others joined. Even Jovy, my beautician and also, her sister, Grace and assistants, came along to crash party at the Loft. Talk about fluke!

It was a pleasant evening, very much indeed.

Thank you guys for the little surprises. Good things indeed, come in small packages.

RASPBERRY DREAMS

Ed’s cozy loft

Over the weekend, we had a blast at Ed’s house. Swimming, makaning, boozing and marathon DVD sessions. Invitation e-mails were sent one day beforehand. We love impromptus.

Ed wrote:-

welcome everyone, i will get the ice cream soda la. just bring ur ass!!!

Gina wrote:-

tonight have to shave ketiak if going swimming. malas betul. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

WY wrote:-

Why ketiak? I thought you are going to shave your pubic hair… wahahahahhaha

Gina wrote:-

I am not wearing a bikini mah. I am wearing a gusti suit.

Pornstar Tiffany wrote:-

aiyoyo… why suddenly talk about all this bulu bulu things ah? just be simple, wear t-shirt n long pants then no matter ur hair(whichever parts of ur body) long until 30cm also no one knows!!

Note: Pornstar Tiffany might have 30 cm hair on a certain parts of her body. *Cringe*

Absolut Raspberry, Absolute Heaven!
It was an unofficial house warming party, as Ed gathered his very good friends together to have a quiet vegetarian dinner, chit chat and some games cum boozing. Ryne and Dan were there as well. Pornstar Tiffany couldn’t make it as she needed longer notice to shave her 30 cm body hair.

I haven’t been drinking that much since my birthday this year. I was glad that the party was not too hardcore – very hard to accept the fact that I am aging and my alcohol tolerance level is not that high anymore.

We went for a dip in the swimming pool before having dinner and booze. Had to teach WY to swim all over again since the last time we actually swam was a few years back in a friend’s apartment. Is there anything that WY can drink/eat so she could swim like a mermaid? I am a self taught swimmer – and I had taught two friends so far, and they could swim like a fish now.

Dinner was good – all vegetarian – we have fake fish, fake char siew, fake pork ribs, fake yong tau foo, etc. The drinking started right after dinner at 9 pm, and we were already tipsy by 10 pm.
WY got totally wasted and began to lap dance on Ryne. Ed was enjoying himself way too much and started to snigger like a seahum. I tried to act as drunk as possible, in order not to get myself to drink too much. Control! Cocktail of Raspberry Vodka and Ice Cream Soda is simply heaven. We had a hard time trying to get the right concoction out of Bombay Sapphire though. Any tips?

Ryne and Ed were hardcore drinkers. It was good that I didn’t challenge them to drink or else I might end up puking on the expensive wood flooring. Dan couldn’t drink and it would take only half a glass of beer to send him straight to dream land. He had to drive Ryne home, hence avoided alcohol. Excuses, excuses!

Poker cards proved to be a lethal combination with liquor
All in all, it was an enjoyable night. WY and I slept at Ed’s place as it was too dangerous to drive home drunk. Ed would make this a monthly event till we know how to mix the gin properly.

So, now you know where I will be spending my Christmas and new year’s eve this year!