Loss of An Acquaintance

Saw on the news that an acquaintance lost in the battle with depression. News of her death brought back some fleeting memories. She was an ex colleague who was not in good terms with some of our colleagues.

I remember her kept interrupting us at work, seeking attention even during work hours and this did not bode well with me, especially when I was rushing for a critical matter to be settled. I remembered shouting at her to stop talking to me while I was working after I gently told her earlier to chat later several times.

Now I felt so bad. I think I did not do anything wrong. But I guess I could be more stern without exploding on her.

She had problems adapting to life with colleagues so eventually she just resigned to focus on her son.

We didn’t keep in touch. I do received news here and then and was glad she joined Tzu Chi to do charity. I wish her well.

Unfortunately she lost battle to this life long depression. If I were to rewind time, I am not sure if I will do anything differently. But probably I could be kinder. Or maybe just don’t be a bitch especially to people who are vulnerable. Learn to read a person and perhaps to learn to apologise when I lose my temper. I was not aware of her dire situation and I was too quick to dismiss her as weird.

I guess the saying that goes, “Don’t judge a person too quickly. We don’t know what kind of life battles they are going through. Be kind.” rings true.

It’s too late now. I sincerely pray and hope her soul is finally at peace now.

Live Wholeheartedly

I’ve been greeted with way too many news of people dying the past two months. Sometime in September, a friend’s mom died of cancer. Her mom was known for being active in sports and she never looked her age. She’s like the epitome of good health and youthfulness! She’s in her 50s and yet she looked 40. So it was a real shocker to find she had colon cancer a few years back and a year later, the cancer didn’t go into remission but went to her liver instead. Since money was tight, she refused any more medication and went to seek alternative medication. She slowly slipped away till her very last days in the hospital. It was a long and agonizing death.

Another one was my good friend’s mom, whom I had the privilege to meet a few times when we were still children in Taiping as well as in KL. I felt her pain in her heart and tears rolled down my eyes when I received news of her demise. Since the funeral was conducted in Taiping, I didn’t go because so happened, I just took leave and left Taiping on the day they supposed to bring back the body to Taiping. If I had known, a few other friends are going down for the wake, I would have stayed back in Taiping. A few weeks later, the same friend’s cousin in Hong Kong passed away. She’s probably in her 30s. She looked young and pretty in her FB photos, so I was not sure what went wrong. Her life was snuffed out just like that.

A few days ago, I received news that a relative who had breast cancer a few years ago, now has liver cancer. The cancer cells have spread to her liver and there’s nothing doctors can do about it. She still could talk a few days ago but as of yesterday, she couldn’t keep her eyes open. She would open her eyes occasionally when someone called her name. She chose to die at home in her sleep. The family is doing preparation now for her demise. Got their home cleaned for the wake. It’s sad to watch her slipping away by the hours. I hope she finds peace soon and glad that she was not in any major pain at the moment. *

On Thursday, I went for facial and was told by a beautician that, her mom had passed away a week ago due to diabetes complications. She got her toes amputated. She could have recovered but her will was weak. So happened that week was her husband’s third year anniversary. She was too heart broken when her husband died of heart attack three years ago during lunch time. She had not really recovered since. And now, after her amputation, she just lost the will to live and a month later joined her husband in the afterlife. This beauty therapist was so depressed that she cried the whole week. Now she’s an orphan with three brothers to be taken care of since she’s the eldest in the family.

At times like this, friends are very important. I guess we just have to do our best to assure her there’s more things in life to look forward to. Let the past be our memories, the future to be paved and live wholeheartedly for today.

*As of today, I learned that the relative has passed away. May she rest in peace.

Death

I wished a friend happy birthday on Facebook and he replied thanks. He added another sentence to it. “Another year closer to demise!” What a grim thought, say you and me! So, I replied him, “The coffin contains dead people. Not old people.” He laughed and agreed that is actually entirely true.

Not long later, my bro in law told me there was an accident nearby our office in front of the police station. A Wira hit a School Bus. By analyzing the wreckage of the Wira beyond recognition and also, the school bus turning turtle, he concluded either one of them must be driving in break neck speed and not obeying traffic rules. The school bus driver was a lady – unfortunately was someone quite familiar to us. We don’t really know her. But she used to drive past our house during lunch hour, dropping off a student at the row of houses in front of my house.

We got to know the bus belongs to this aunty because the opposite side neighbour came to look for us, asking if we know anyone who could assist to drive her child to school. Yes, the school bus aunty is dead. We heard that her own daughter was also in the bus when the accident happened, together with another student. Both were injured. We pray for their recovery and strength to overcome this trauma.

It’s true that we can only plan, but God will decide for us.. yesterday has come to past, we might not see tomorrow, so might just as well live for today. So, why worry?

Just remember to set our affairs right as we will never know when our fire would be snuffed out in just an instant. Death doesn’t always come with a warning.